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Though she be but little, she is fierce.


December 22nd, 2009

December 28th, 2009

[video] NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast' @ 09:57 am

[info]theonionfeed:
On the eve of the Sears Classic 500, legendary NASCAR coach Dan Amon shares his strategy for driving really fast in circles.


 

[video] Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist @ 11:00 am

[info]theonionfeed:
Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should rein in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again.


 

Sports: Cheering Fans, Thrilling NCAA Tournament Disgust BCS Officials @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
DETROIT—Claiming that determining an unquestioned national champion through a playoff system "went against the very idea of sporting competition," and that the sheer exuberance of college basketball fans was "a shocking and nauseating...


 

Sports: Manny Ramirez To David Ortiz: 'Road Trip' @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
SOMEWHERE ALONG I-65—Best buddies Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, both of whom find themselves at professional crossroads and both desperately wanting to rekindle their friendship, decided on Sunday that a soul-searching road trip was the...


 

Sports: Lazy Nike Exec Pitches Commercial Where Usain Bolt Runs Away From Something @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
BEAVERTON, OR—The new campaign, which Nike advertising executive Paul Dewitt barely mustered the energy to title "Usain Bolt: Fast Guy," is scheduled to debut next March.


 

Sports: Dallas Cowboys Release Jerry Jones @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
IRVING, TEXAS—In an attempt to cut the franchise's losses and "move forward in a positive direction," the Dallas Cowboys severed ties with controversial owner Jerry Jones Monday, ending their tumultuous 20-year relationship with the divisive figure.


 

Sports: Mr. Met Having Trouble Sleeping In New Home @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
FLUSHING, NEW YORK—After dozing off between innings in front of more than 41,000 cheering fans Monday night, an exhausted Mr. Met informed team officials that he has not slept since the Mets moved from Shea Stadium to Citi Field.


 

Sports: Michael Jordan Wondering Why He Wasn't In NBA Jam @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
HIGHLAND PARK, IL—After finding his old Super Nintendo in a routine cleaning of his attic, basketball great Michael Jordan was stunned to...


 

Sports: Bill Belichick's Tears Eat Through Podium @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
FOXBOROUGH, MA—In a rare show of emotion, Patriots coach Bill Belichick began to cry during linebacker Tedy Bruschi's farewell press conference Monday, shedding a noxious black discharge...


 

Sports: Stan Van Gundy Draws Up Play In Barbecue Sauce @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
ORLANDO—During a timeout in Game 4 of Tuesday's Eastern Conference Finals, Magic head coach and barbecue aficionado Stan Van Gundy used the...


 

Sports: Bloodstained Gary Bettman: 'I Have Taken The Necessary Measures To Ensure A Crosby-Ovechkin @ 09:05 am

[info]theonionfeed:
NEW YORK—Addressing reporters yesterday in an unnervingly calm tone of voice, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman—his hands, face, and...


 

Sports: On Baseball In 2009: @ 09:00 am

December 27th, 2009

POTP @ 08:25 pm

[info]miep, posting in [info]episcopal:
So, our priest asked me to write some prayers of the people for Christmas Eve and Christmas II. The Christmas Eve prayers, with some modifications, were also used for Christmas Day and Christmas I.

Christmas Eve )

Christmas II )
 

Prayer shawls, Lent ideas @ 05:51 pm

[info]vampireborg, posting in [info]episcopal:
Yes, Lent already, it starts in 7 weeks!

I teach a yarn craft class at a day shelter and am finding the more time I spend with hook or needles in my hand, the more natural it is to pray while I'm working with it. For Lent, I think it would be awesome to complete a blanket or shawl that was literally prayed into being.

My question for people who knit/crochet/sew - if you find yourself doing this too, what prayers do you say? Extemporaneous prayers, collects from the prayer book, bible verses? Personally, I find that -

* A knit stitch works well with the Jesus prayer since there's four parts to the stitch and four parts to it.
* A double crochet stitch works well with a Glory Be. A Hail Mary does ok but I have to say it faster than I want to to make it work, it would work better for a triple stitch.
* A single crochet stitch works well with Hebrews 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever." This has some personal meaning to me since I grew up Foursquare and that verse is on the wall of the sanctuaries of almost every Foursquare Church.

What could be especially awesome is to do a block or lace pattern and learn a psalm to the repeat. It could be like a visual representation of a block of Scripture, basically. I don't know if I'll get that involved for LENT, but this is why I try to plan stuff out now instead of the week before. :)
 

And so that was Christmas. @ 08:09 pm

[info]puritybrown:

As my family puts it, that passed off civil. We were 12 at Christmas; we were going to be six, and then my uncle and his girlfriend and his girlfriend's two sons and her parents were added to the guest list, so we had to scrap all plans of having duck or beef or something else with an actual flavour and roast a turkey instead. (I have eaten more turkey in the past three days than in the previous three years, which is more a sign of how little turkey I normally eat than anything else.) I had suggested we play board games after dinner to break the ice (well, the only board game we have, which is Kill Dr Lucky, and a very fine game it is too), but it turned out not to be necessary; the guests all chatted away for hours, and there was no ice to break.

I got a pretty good haul of presents, most of them from my Amazon wishlist, which led to a peculiar and not very satisfactory situation where I was very happy to receive the presents, but the people who'd got them for me had no idea why I wanted them and wouldn't have understood if I'd explained myself -- like, my brother got me a Hyouta Fujiyama manga, which I could squee about for hours (she's my favourite BL mangaka, and this particular manga is a fantasy story, which she doesn't normally do, and I'm excited to see what she does with it), but he doesn't really care. (I did try explaining Yotsuba&! to my mother, but I'm beginning to think that Yotsuba&! needs to be experienced to be understood.) So, there was no real surprise and also no real sharing of enthusiasm, which bothered me a bit. Still, it didn't cast a shadow over the day.

Yesterday I slobbed around in pyjamas, ate leftover turkey, and played Civilisation III a lot, which worked fine for me. Today I did 20 minutes on the stationary bike, then returned The Muppet Christmas Carol to the DVD place and went for a walk to the local park. The pond was frozen -- not completely solid; the edges were still liquid, and there was a biggish section near the ducks' island that was mostly liquid, but the main body of the pond had a layer of ice several inches thick on top of it. The park's two resident swans were sitting on it, apparently content to stay completely still until it thawed; meanwhile, a flock of pigeons had descended on the ice, and were pecking at bits of bread that had been thrown for the swans. They looked so comical as they meandered to and fro, mostly just walking along but occasionally skidding and sliding and needing to use their wings to get their balance back.

I also went to see Sherlock Holmes, which I liked very much despite being able to hear the rumblings from Arthur Conan Doyle turning in his grave. As I was walking home from the cinema (for lo! a new cinema has opened which is only 15 minutes' walk from my house! and lo! they're participating in the Met Live opera broadcasts programme!), I thought up some more accurate titles for it, like:

Kung Fu Sherlock Holmes vs Satanists Who Are Technically Not Freemasons, But Come On, Who Do We Think We're Kidding
Sherlock Holmes: Making Batman Look Like A Wuss Since 1887
Do Not Fuck With Sherlock Holmes. No, Seriously, Don't, It Will Not End Well For You
Why, Yes, We Are Aware Of The Existence Of Holmes/Watson Slash. Get Typing, Ladies!
Sort Of Like A Dan Brown Movie If Dan Brown Had A Sense Of Humour And Was Less Easily Fooled

I have a busy few days ahead, and then comes the New Year, and I have some resolutions in mind, though I'm still working them out. All in all, 2009 was a difficult year, but not a bad one; I'm hoping that 2010 will be less difficult, and positively good.
 

[audio] Santa Succumbs To Multiple Strains Of H1N1 Flu Virus @ 08:57 am

December 26th, 2009

Survival Of Autoerotic Asphyxiation Closest Thing Man Got To Christmas Miracle @ 09:00 am

[info]theonionfeed:
DUNDEE, IL—"This is what Christmas is all about," said a police investigator, who found the unconscious body after responding to complaints of a loud crash.
 

December 25th, 2009

[video] Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor @ 10:47 am

[info]theonionfeed:
In this special feature, troops overseas talk about things that make the season special, like modular tactical vests and M40 field protective masks.
 

Parent Mad 6-Year-Old Didn't Like Peanuts Special @ 10:00 am

[info]theonionfeed:
ROSE HILL, VA--Bruce Pillard, 34, was angered Tuesday over his 6-year-old daughter's indifferent reaction to A Charlie Brown Christmas. "That show is a classic and an annual tradition!" an incensed Pillard told daughter Courtney after watching the program on CBS. "It is not 'boring,' and the voices do not sound 'weird.' What the hell is wrong with you?" Courtney was then sent to her room for the remainder of the evening.
 

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Though she be but little, she is fierce.